Why Hope Is Critical

Hope is something I have thought a lot about these past few years. Sometimes I feel it so abundantly that it is almost tangible. Other times it is elusive and I feel like any reason to hope is lost.

Life has felt pretty scary lately for us. Last fall Taylor got really sick, and hasn't been able to return to work since. Not only has this happened to us once, but three times over the last six years. In the last 9 months we've had many E.R. visits, a couple of hospital stays, and doctors have run test after test. They even did an exploratory laparoscopic surgery on Taylor's abdomen several months ago. When he went in for that surgery, we hoped and prayed so desperately that the doctor would find SOMETHING. SEE something that would give us answers.
Prior to surgery
When the surgeon walked towards me in the waiting area he said the words I feared. "Well, everything looks normal. We couldn't find anything."

Crushing fear and hopelessness were the first things I felt, followed by the immediate question in my mind, "What in the world is causing all of his pain?"

It's like I couldn't breathe.

It took all I had to stay composed as I finished the conversation with him. The following hours were hard. Taylor and I knew before the surgery that that would be a possible outcome, but I didn't realize how difficult it would be for us to face. Complete hopelessness. For whatever reason, because of what is making him sick, it made Taylor's Post-Op recovery ten times worse than the average person. It was a nightmare like every other E.R. visit, where the nurses spent hours trying to get his almost unbearable pain under control. All the while I sit there feeling helpless as I squeeze Taylor's hand and pray with all my heart that the pain will finally subside.

And I ask myself, "How much more can Taylor's body take?" "Where is this leading us?" "What is the purpose to all of this?"

Then this scripture pops into my head every time.

And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good."
Doctrine and Covenants 122:7


"All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good."


HOPE.

I've found that hope is an action. Hope isn't always easily attained, and in fact, when we need it most, we must go seeking for it, and work very hard to hold onto it. In those darkest moments I will search for that tiny bit of hope, and when I find it I hold onto it with all my might. I think of my husband and my children, and all of the good days we have. I think about how our struggles will not last forever. I remember that there is a greater plan that God has for us, and that this life is to give us experience. How much more able are we to empathize, to understand and to love others after we have experienced great difficulties and pains?

Hope keeps us going. Hope fills our days with light, when it could otherwise feel very dark.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland says it perfectly in this video.

Good Things to Come


"It will be alright in the end.  Trust God, and believe in good things to come."
-Jeffrey R. Holland

We always have reason to hope.

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